


There is a Light That Never Goes Out

by Yaki_Chizu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Crossdressing, F/M, Other, Robots, Science Fiction, Technology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:39:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaki_Chizu/pseuds/Yaki_Chizu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in a futuristic timeline, Hanji is a top engineer in charge of creating what are known as ultrihums, female android esque machines that turned into high quality sex toys. However, when Hanji breaks the norm one day and decides to make a custom ultrihum of her own, he turns out to be the thing in her life she never knew she was missing, a break away from the dull humdrum life she leads. </p><p>And as a result, Levi turns out to be quite more than she expected. Can one be human without being human? As a result of her bold move, change ensues. As distracting as life gets, though, she really does try to keep time for her Levi, who needs all the help he can get as he begins to question his existence. </p><p>Life, love, human emotion in general, things an ultrihum shouldn't grasp and yet, how was Levi? At first it's a scientific miracle, but it becomes so much more for Hanji.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hanji

A master’s degree in genetic engineering, and a master’s in mechanical engineering on top of a PHD in life science. Hanji Zoe was the perfect candidate for the new science of what they called progenetics. She joined in the early phase of the science, when progenetics focused on improving the human race via creating cures for diseases and correcting genetic mutations before the human was born. However, somewhere along the road, the science took a turn, a commercial turn, and now focused on the creation of the perfect companion. They were called ultrihums (from Latin ultrices, meaning electric, and the word human), and they were originally intended to become the perfect companion but became glorified sex objects because of their uniquely female appearance. It sickened Hanji to see woman that were literal objects, but they were sold like vacuum cleaners, and used as maids and housekeepers, on the surface. It seemed everyone had them.

And while it disgusted Hanji, this was her unfortunate life, she was locked in a contract, there was no getting out, so she continued each day with a fake smile as she created more and more ultrihums.

That was just life.

"Oh…dear. Look at you. I’m messed you all up." The electronic skeleton of what was supposed to be a Barbarella model 2 was laid out before Hanji. She had crafted it with her own hands, but realized it was all wrong. Too short, and there were no breasts or curves at all. Hardly feminine. "To the trash with you, then." She said it, but couldn’t bring herself to move. She looked down at this lifeless mess of ultrachome and wires, that looked nowhere close to the mess of ultrachrome and wire that should become a Barbarella model 2, and her heart actually ached for it. "You’re not even alive…why am I…?" She looked around furtively, seeing if anyone was around. "I…I have to finish you." A small rush of excitement ran through. She was about to commit something that could easily get her stripped of her title in this industry. "You don’t look like a girl at all…so who says you have to be?" Creativity was seen as a crime in the field of progenetics now, even though it was creativity that started the science. Models were now drawn out and engineers like Hanji would craft them according to the pictures. But not today. Hanji shut off the screen that contained the image of the Barbarella model 2 and pulled out her notebook.

With smooth strokes of her pen, she created a messy image that she decided to base this imperfect ultrachrome skeleton on. She was about to make history, whether it was for good or bad. She was about to make the first male ultrihum model. She looked down at her sketch, then back to the skeleton. “What should I call you…?” She mumbled to herself, tapping her chin with her pen. “I guess we’ll wait for that. Oh…you look so cold. I should give you skin.” She looked around again to make sure she was alone, then left, locking the door to her lab behind herself. She kept to herself as she made her way to the supplies room, smiling as usual when she saw someone but not saying a word. Her mind was racing with idea.

The supply room isn’t a proper title. It was more like a warehouse within the looming progentics building. It made up the bottom two floors of the place, Hanji’s lab being on the third floor. Here, she could get everything she needed to finish her little project. “You’re so short…I suppose you don’t need too much latex, and, hmm…I think you need gray eyes.” A roll of latex for skin, and two grayish spheres that would eventually become eyes. She held the roll under her arm, and carefully slipped the gray eyes in her pocket. Barbarellas were to have blue eyes after all. “I don’t want you to be blonde, but I am supposed to be building a Barbarella…” She mused quietly to herself, taking some of the yellow polyester as a decoy. Underneath it, she held the color she wanted her model to have. A raven black. With quiet feet she slipped back into her lab, feeling wonderfully mischievous.

Tossing the blonde polyester aside, she set down the grey eyes and raven hair on her desk before unrolling her latex. He needed skin after all. “The first boy. Aren’t you excited to be the first boy?” She looked down at the ultrachrome skeleton and smiled. There was a machine in her lab for fitting latex to ultrachrome, and it was here Hanji laid her skeleton down so she could give him skin. “My, you’re short…” She thought allowed, looking down at the faceless skeleton. “Let’s get you some skin.” Loading the machine, she let it work while she began on the eyes. Every set of eyes was handmade, the only unique thing about ultrihums. She hoped no one noticed the missing set of gray eyes. Those were ordered the least because they were only used on Loretta models. With careful hands, Hanji pressed out the two circles within circles that were to be pupil and iris. She covered them with her thumb as she dipped the small sphere in white semigloss, which hardened instantly. The eyes were almost complete. Usually, they were considered done at this stage, but Hanji wanted so much more for them. She wanted to give them life, so, with careful detail she carved out and painted all the things that made an iris unique, the little fine lines and shades of color. When she finished, she was a little creeped out by how real they looked, and set them down to see how her skeleton was looking.

It was no longer a skeleton, but looked human now, with no genitalia and no face. Hanji pulled the warm thing from the latex machine and laid him back down on her table, looking at him with a soft expression. “Let’s give you a face…” She smiled gently, taking out her scalpel and making careful cuts for the eyes, nose, and lips, filling in with her silicon pen here and there to give the face shape and life. She took a step back and felt her heart starting to race. “What am I doing?” She asked herself. “What am I…?” She couldn’t believe what she was feeling. It wasn’t just the thrill of doing something wrong. There was something else…something in her heart. She shook her head and turned back to her desk, picking up the eyes carefully with small tongs and placing them gently in their sockets, connecting them to the optic wires with surgeon like precision. She took a step back when she finished, the blank eyes staring ahead distantly. It made Hanji slightly uneasy, so she closed them.

She began to work on the body, using her silicon pen to give it form, texture, and shape. This was the second longest process of creating and ultrihum, and it required hours of arching over the body to get things just right. She had to stand up and take breaks throughout the process, skipping ahead to another piece of the project and then going back to it. She gave him hair, cut short, and when she sat him up and started cutting it, she thought she heard someone and jumped slightly, cutting a piece on the bottom far too short. She knew this was polyester, and wouldn’t just grow back, and she panicked. As she tried to even it out, she realized something here looked nice, and her model ended up with an undercut, the result of Hanji correcting her mistake in true Bob Ross fashion. She did that, gave him eyebrows, accidentally giving him quite a cold stare, but she knew there was no fixing it, so she went with it, before finally finishing the body. When she looked up from her work, she saw it was an hour past closing, and she panicked. “I’ll see you tomorrow…” She said softly, draping a tarp over her ultrihum and rushing out of the place as quick as she could.

Upon arriving home, Hanji was restless. She only had her forbidden ultrihum on her mind, and was working on improving her simple sketch, who looked nothing like what she had made. Nothing was going exactly according to her design, but it didn’t upset it. In fact, she quite enjoyed all her mistakes. It made her ultrihum seem that much more real. She wandered around her apartment restlessly, unable to think of anything distracting. She couldn’t eat, she couldn’t sleep…she wanted so badly to see her ultrihum again. “What is wrong with me!?” She cried after laying in bed for three hours. “It’s just another ultrihum, it’s just another machine…so why do I want to see him again?” She paused. “And I’m assigning him a gender…oh lord…” She sat up, cradling her head in her hands. “There is so much wrong with me…” Picking up her glasses, she pushed them on her face and looked at her laptop. “I’m not gonna do this…that can wait, it can wait…” She mumbled to herself, standing up and turning on her lamp. She took her laptop in hand and sat back on her bed, turning the computer on. “I can’t believe this…I’m obsessing. You’re obsessing, Hanji.” She opened up the program used to create coding for ultrihums. It was what gave them their “personality”. On a few different stickynotes stuck to her screen were the various codes for the different models, but she peeled them off and let them fall to the floor. She didn’t want to just copy a code…she wanted to make one.

In the section for quirks, she left it blank. In the section for mannerisms, she left it blank. As she scrolled down, she realized she left a lot blank. She could’ve given him an artificial gentle heart, or all the intelligence in the world, or a slightly outrageous personality like her own. But she left it all blank. “I don’t just want to tell you how to act…I want to see…can you learn?” She had essentially created a code that would make her ultrihum act human, but with a completely blank slate. Limited knowledge, no personality. Hanji wasn’t sure if it was possible, but she had hopes that those things would develop on their own if they weren’t programmed in him. She felt like it was impossible, but she wanted so badly to see if maybe it wasn’t. She didn’t want just another ultrihum. She wanted a human. “I’m creating a human…” She shook her head and laughed at herself. “I’m fucking crazy…I’m trying to make a human out of ultrachrome, latex, and steel…oh shit…” She looked outside and saw the sun slowly beginning to rise. It made her laugh even more. “I’m absolutely insane.” She stuck a flashdrive into her laptop and downloaded the code while she changed. She still had hours before work, and knew she should sleep, but she felt like going out.

With a yawn she pulled on her clothes, made coffee, and some flavorless toast. She glanced at her laptop, knowing the download would take a bit. While she waited, she sipped her coffee and sketched some more on her model. She scribbled out his face because it turned out nothing like she imagined, same with the rest of it, really. She tore the page out and crumpled it up, missing the trashcan, not caring that she did. She sketched out a new model, this one based on the ultrihum back in her lab. She gave him clothes, something sophisticated, and realized she really like it. She even felt herself blush. “Ugh…what am I doing?” She asked herself for the thousandth time as she checked on the downloading progress. She scrolled through the coding, just random letters and numbers, when something caught her eye.

00l_ev_i90_12a89i.20…

L…e…v..i. It stood out to her for some reason. Levi. “I’ll call him Levi…” She started to laugh madly. “I’m naming him too, oh lord…Hanji you’re just bonkers.” She watched the download finish and stuck the flashdrive in her pocket, shutting down her laptop. She placed it back on her desk and finished off her coffee before pouring herself another glass, returning to her sofa where she had left her little notebook and sketch. In the top right corner, she messily wrote: LEVI. It seemed to fit for some reason, and now she couldn’t stop referring to him as Levi in her head. “Levi needs some clothes.” She said to herself in a slightly teasing way. She was making fun of herself for becoming so obsessed with this project.

Making sure to lock her door behind herself, Hanji left her apartment behind despite the three hours she had before work. She took a streetway (similar to a subway, but these across the streets instead of cars. Personal cars had become a rare sight.) down to the retail district, questioning herself the entire way. “If anyone finds out I’m jobless…” She warned herself as she walked into a men’s clothing store. But even as she continued to warn herself, she didn’t listen. She gave herself very good advice but very seldom followed it. “Could explain the trouble that I’m always in…” She giggled to herself, holding up a white button up dress shirt. “I don’t even know what size you are, Levi, you’re so small.” The smallest size looked a little too small, she presumed, so she stuck with mediums. At the counter, she shook her head and cursed at herself for buying so much clothing for her obsession. She tried to tell herself he needed it, tried to justify her purchase, but she still debated whether or not she should she even finish Levi. She was at war with herself. She knew what she was doing was not only dangerous, but weird. Not just a weird hobby, but a creepy obsession.

She killed an hour in the retail district before returning home, setting her bags down in her room. “Is there enough room for us both to live here?” She asked herself, looking around. “Oh my lord, Hanji, I can’t believe you just said that.” She laughed pathetically as she made up her bed and picked up a bit, as if someone was actually coming over. She knew she might’ve been going too far, but at the same time, she couldn’t stop herself. She was going to finish Levi. She nearly had a heart attack when her phone rang, afraid someone might’ve been spying on her. She carefully lifted the phone to her ear and let out a meek, “Hello?”

"Hanji? I’m surprised you’re awake!" She recognized the voice on the other side. It was just Moblit, a close friend from university. "What are you doing up? You still have two hours to get ready for work, you usually give yourself ten minutes."

"Ah, well," Hanji didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know if she should tell Moblit or not. "I slept well last night." She lied. She hadn’t slept at all.

"That’s good to hear, don’t you go and work too hard now." Moblit laughed a bit, and Hanji laughed with him. "Are you ok? You seem shaken over something."

Hanji froze. “Nothing’s wrong, nothing at all.” She assured him.  _I just might lose my job after today, but you know, life goes on._  She didn’t want to say too much. “Just um, worked late last night.”

"I see. You don’t mind if Erwin and I come over after you get off tonight, do you? It’s the weekend after all?" Erwin was another friend, and upperclassman they’d both come to admire. They were like brothers to Hanji.

She paused before her answer. If she could trust anyone, it would be those two. But would they understand? “Yes, well, I’m going to be staying late again.” She told him.

"That’s ok," Moblit replied. "We can always come over after, you can just give us a call, ok?"

Hanji sighed internally and bit her lip.  _I’m going to just stress out more if I don’t tell_ somebody… _and I’m sure they’d understand. It’s a risk, Hanji…but then again so is all of this._ "Ok. I’ll call you when I get back."  _What am I saying?_

Moblit’s laughter could be heard on the other side. “Sounds good, talk to you later then.”

Hanji nodded. “Ok, bye Moblit.” She hung up before her did, and ran her hands through her greasy hair. Hanji never really cared too much about her appearance. She was always much more wrapped up in her work.

After another two hours of stressing out and pacing, Hanji got ready for work and left in a hurry, her heart pounding with excitement. It was always fun to do something against the rules. But it was also slightly exhausting with all the stress involved. Hanji couldn’t stop the pounding of her heart until she had finally made it back to the privacy of her lab. Being one of the higher ups, Hanji was very rarely checked on, and this brought her some comfort. Slowly, she pulled off the tarp. “Hello Levi…have a good night?” She asked the lifeless ultrihum on the worktable before her. She brushed his face and felt a tinge of excitement. This was such a taboo. She pulled the flashdrive from her pocket and stuck it in the port at the base of the back of the neck, something on every ultrihum. Within seconds, his eyes open, and, looking in them, Hanji could see the coding downloading into him. She smiled at the sight. She checked her work computer and found her schedule. She had to have a Barbarella model 2 completed by next week. She relaxed a bit, that was plenty of time, so she decided to focus on her current prohibited project. She turned around in her chair, staring at her ultrihum. The downloading process could take up to two hours, so she wasn’t quite sure what to do with her time until then. She didn’t want to start on another ultrachrome skeleton, but she wasn’t sure what else to do, so she started on yet another Barbarella model 2, a boring task she had built so many. Within the next hour the skeleton was made, and she decided to check and see how Levi was doing. “Only half way there…oi…” She mumbled to herself, not wanting to continue on her Barbarella.

Being more highly ranked, Hanji could come and go from her lab as she pleased, so she decided to go down to the cafeteria and get some more coffee. She was exhausted, and the coffee helped very little. After two cups and a muffin, she went back to her lab to check the progress on Levi. “Almost there…” The bar was a little over three fourths of the way full, and she was pleased. She decided to just wait it out at her desk, sitting and staring at the computer screen until she eventually fell asleep.

Two hours later, Hanji awoke in a panic, not realizing how long she’d slept. “Holy shit!” She cried, looking at the time. “I overslept…” She laughed at her stupidity and fixed the crooked glasses on her face. Turning around, she looked over to wear Levi should’ve been, but was shocked to see him not laying there. “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap…” She entered full panic mode as she ran around her lab, looking for Levi. She tripped and fell on something on the ground, and saw that it was in fact Levi.

She pulled herself off of the ultrihum and stared at his, and he stared back, his expression emotionless and cold as ice. “Um…hi there.” Hanji said with a soft smile, reaching a hand behind Levi’s neck and pulling out the flashdrive. “Can you talk?”

The ultrihum just stared back, watching her every movement, observing. His eyes watched her hand go from his neck to her lap, and watched her lips speak.

"Oh…did I not program you with a voice? Oh crap…" She muttered. She couldn’t remember if she had or not. That was one thing that was never 100% certain with ultrihums. Their voices were the one thing that seemed to come from within, because the voices were so hard to program. All Hanji remembered was making it deeper than the other models so it would sound male. She tried again to get him to speak. She pointed at herself. "Hanji." She pointed at him. "Levi. Leeee-vie."

Something flashed in his eyes, and he opened his mouth. “I’m Levi.” His voice was quiet, but definitely male. It sent a rush through Hanji.

"Oh, I’m so glad I programmed you with basic intelligence. That will make things much easier." She let out a sigh of relief before looking back at him. "You’re Levi, yes. I’m Hanji. Haan-jee."

Another flash of programming lit up Levi’s eyes. “You’re Hanji.” He said flatly.

"Yes, yes!" Hanji clapped her hands. She went through this with every ultrihum she made, but those had preprogrammed learning and understanding depending on their personality type, so the process was much easier and faster. Hanji chose to leave these things out, because she wanted Levi to be unlike any of the other ultrihums. She even had a theory that he might possibly learn for himself, but she knew that was unlikely. "I’m Hanji. You’re Levi. What’s your name?"

"Levi." He replied.

"And my name?"

"Hanji."

Hanji was pleased. The basic knowledge programming would save her a lot of time. It meant that he knew simple human things, like how to speak, walk, run, and various miscellaneous household tasks, like sweeping or vacuuming. Ultrihums started as glorified housekeepers, after all. She held out her hands and took his, his hands cold and slightly charged, as was typical of an ultrihum, and pulled him to his feet. “Oh…” She hadn’t even realized. “You’re still naked.”

As if to confirm this, Levi looked down at himself. “I am.” He said matter-of-factly, because he only knew fact. “What am I to wear?” Part of basic programming included a knowledge of various societal norms, including the knowledge that being naked was considered not normal. He knew he was supposed to wear clothing.

"Um…let me find you something…" Hanji sat him down at her worktable and left her lab, locking the door behind herself. There was a room for clothing, the last stage of the creation progress because ultrihums had to be clothed to be sold. However, Hanji ran into a problem. While there was much to choose from, they were all skimpy dresses. Ultrihums had to be sexy, after all. That was one of their main draws. She turned a little red as she browsed the clothing. French maid, cheerleader, housewife…? She didn’t know what to choose. She looked at the school girl section. "I can’t believe this…" She grabbed a size small and quickly went back to her lab, outfit in hand. "Levi, I have your clothing."

The ultrihum looked up upon being addressed. Part of basic programming included knowledge to dress himself, so when she handed him the clothing he quickly put it on. Basic programming did not include the knowledge of knowing about gender based clothing, so while Hanji was blushing like an idiot, Levi saw no issue with his school girl sweater and mini skirt, complete with knee high socks and Mary Jane shoes. “I am clothed now.”

Hanji clapped her hands together and laughed nervously at his appearance. His small stature and cold yet youthful face made the outfit look slightly ridiculous, but she didn’t say anything. “Yes, you’re clothed now.” She smiled. “Now walk around the room.”

A flash of the eyes, and Levi started walking around the room, slightly rigid. That usually wasn’t an issue for ultrihums, but Hanji assumed it was because she’d built the skeleton a little too small and therefore didn’t connect all the joints quite right. But he was functional, up and walking, and she felt like that in itself was a miracle. When he finished his course, he stopped before her and his eyes flashed again. “I’ve completed my task.”

Hanji nodded. “Very good, Levi, very good. Now sit down over there.” She pointed at her computer chair at her desk. With the flash of understanding, Levi did as he was told. He looked very rigid and stiff, as if he was uncomfortable. She knew he wasn’t, but she felt bad for him. “Go on, relax.” She said, before putting her hand over her mouth.  _He’s not human!_ She scolded herself.

A flash went across Levi’s eyes again, and then they turned red for a moment. “Relax: make or become less tense or anxious. It is a verb. I cannot go on relax.” Hanji knew she had to be more specific.

"I want  _you_ to relax.” She said. “I want you to become less tense or anxious.”

"I am not tense or anxious, how can I become less?" Levi questioned her, his programming making him unable to fully compute her request.

"Yes, you are tense. Sit back in the chair." He did so. "Loosen up your figure, Levi." The red flash again. He couldn’t compute. "Stand up and stand right here." She said. He did so, and she in turn sat down in the chair, comfortably, crossing her legs and leaning back, her hands resting on the edge of the arms of the chair. "I want you to sit like this. Now you try." She stood up and took a few steps back, watching Levi to see if he would learn through observation, or if he was just going to continue fulfilling commands and tasks.

For a few moments Levi’s eyes lit up slightly, then at their full brightness in understanding. He moved over to the chair and sat down, just like she did, and a rush of thrill ran through Hanji and she clapped her hands in excitement.  _He learned that. He observed and he learned it!_ Hanji tried to calm herself.  _Or he could’ve just been completing the task…we don’t know yet for sure, Han. Let’s just wait and see._ "Very good, Levi." She smiled. "Are you comfortable?"

A red flash in his eyes. “It does not compute.”

"That’s ok," Hanji said softly, patting his head affectionately.  _I can’t expect him to feel anything. He’s not human._ "Levi, can you go back to the table over there?" She wanted to see if she could fix some of that rigid movement. With the flash of understanding, Levi got to his feet, and he started to complete her request. However, something went wrong, and he started to fall. Hanji caught him before he did, and she looked at his eyes to find out the problem. "LOW BATTERY" flashed in them. "Ok, here, I’ll help you." She’d forgotten to give him fresh batteries. The downloading process usually drained the tempory batteries ultrihums were given during the building process. She had to lay him down because he could no longer sit up. "Levi, say something." She wanted to know if the batteries were dead or not, because only completely dead batteries were allowed to be disposed of.

"Something." Levi replied, and Hanji sighed. He still had some energy in him.

So she waited, wondering how she could kill his batteries. “What’s your name?”

"Levi."

"What’s my name?"

"Hanji."

This went on for awhile, and Hanji watched the battery slowly die. Usually, Hanji wasn’t bothered by this, but this time, it made her…sad. When an ultrihum’s battery was close to dead, they looked like a very ill human. Their eyes grew hazy, and their voices quieter. It made Hanji upset to see Levi like this, and she was mad at herself for feeling this way over a machine. “What’s my name?” She asked again. No reply. She looked down and saw his eyes, empty, the usual glow of life that all ultrihum’s had now gone. She stood and left him, leaving to retrieve batteries. She locked her door as usual, slightly paranoid of anyone seeing what she was doing. When she returned, she locked her door again and opened the package containing a big, chrome cylinder. It help about 12 hours of life, depending on the tasks the ultrihum performed that day, and could be recharged each night via the port at the base of the back of the neck. She rolled Levi over and pulled up his sweater, the battery port being in the middle of the back. It was hard to find for most, but Hanji knew the exact location from memory. It was an invisible seam until you pressed down on the spot, and from there the port opened. Hanji pulled out the old battery and replaced it with the new, closing the port and pulling down his sweater before sitting him up. She sat and waited for him to react to the fresh battery.

"Hanji." He said, recalling the incomplete task.

For a few moments, she was confused, until she remembered that she had asked for her name again. “Yes, very good.” She smiled. “Now sit up for me.” Levi did so. With him now sitting, she started to check his joints, starting with his feet. She pulled off the Mary Janes and socks, and tapped around with a small tool to check the movement. Everything there seemed fine, so she went to check his knees next. “Levi, extend you right leg, then pull it back.” As he did what he was told, Hanji observed the movement. It was a little stiff, unlike how it should be. She tapped around with her small tool, a device that would light up if there were imperfections in the ultrachrome skeleton. It lit up a few times, and Hanji saw she had really messed up on his knees. “Levi, remind me to fix your knees.” There was the flash of understanding, and the ultrihum said he would. She continued to his hips, which were also messed up. “God damn it…” She muttered to herself. Everything else checked out ok, so Hanji told Levi to lay down.

"You are to fix my knees." He said, remembering his task from before.

"Yes, thank you." She smiled. "I’ll start there." She wheeled her computer chair over to her work table and grabbed her repair kit. She slit a hole in the latex skin that covered both knees, and started to add oil and hydrolic fluids to the tubes in the joint cables, making them glide much easier. She did the same for both, then sealed the skin together using a heating pen, leaving no trace of her incision. She then had him stand up, and started on his hip. However, by the time she got his skirt down, she heard someone knocking on her door, and she panicked. "Levi, go hide where you cannot be seen." He looked around for such a place, choosing to crouch behind the latex machine. Hanji then cleaned her stuff up and opened the door. "H-hi." She said with a nervous smile. There was no one at her door, but she leaned her head out and saw the janitor heading down the hallway. Hanji figured the woman must’ve bumped into her door, and she shut it with a sigh of relief. She looked over at the clock. It was fifteen minutes after her shift…no wonder the janitor was out. They were closing soon. "Levi, you may come out now." Out he came, and Hanji noticed he was moving a little better. "No time to fix you up…I guess you’re good enough." She said to herself, gathering up her things. She looked back at Levi, who stood, waiting for a command. She giggled to herself. "How am I gonna sneak you out of here?" She asked.

Half an hour passed, and Hanji unlocked her door, looking around the hallway. As she expected, it was empty. Most everyone was gone at this point. The place was technically closed. “Levi, follow me.” She instructed, and he did. They went down the hall and down the elevator. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she felt very anxious. She was just waiting to get caught.

Somehow, though, they made it to the streetway without a soul noticing them. Hanji sat down and had Levi sat down beside her. She could feel the stares, and she realized it was because Levi, who everyone probably assumed to be a human male, was in a school girl uniform still. “We just got back from a costume party.” She said with a smile. Levi said nothing, but just stared ahead coldly, creeping out the woman sitting across from him. “Levi, look down at your lap.” Hanji whispered, and Levi followed the order. She hoped no one realized what he was. When they arrived at their stop, Hanji was quick to grab Levi by the wrist and pull him out, quickly dragging him to her home. Of course, the ultrihum didn’t react to being dragged so forcefully. He just kept up when Hanji told him to keep up, and stopped when she said stop.

Upon arriving in her apartment, she instructed Levi to look around the place as she cleaned up a bit, remembering she was supposed to be having guess. In her slight paranoia she locked her door, and watched Levi from afar, wondering if he was feeling anything as he walked around her home. He wandered from room to room, literally stopping and looking  _around_ before continuing on his course. When he had seen every room, he approached Hanji in her bedroom and blankly said, “I have looked around.”

"And what did you observe?" Hanji said, hoping he observed something. Observation was step one to learning. It was all part of her experiment, that if personality wasn’t programmed, it was learned and developed.

Levi was quiet as he processed the request, and his eyes flash red in misunderstanding.

Hanji tried again. “Levi, tell me, what did you  _observe_?”

Again Levi went quiet as he processed the information, and this time there was no red flash. There was no answer, either.

"Well…" She sighed. "It was worth a try. Levi," She looked at the ultrihum. "Please change your clothing." She was not going to present him in a school girl uniform. "I have clothes in those bags. You pick what you want to wear." She rubbed her hands together in slight excitement as his eyes flashed in understanding and he started to pull out pants and shirts. She bit down on her lip, her scientist side showing as she watched eagerly. He held up a white button up shirt and laid it neatly on the bed. He did the same with a pair of gray pants. He then started to change, Hanji watching as her heart raced. "Why did you pick that outfit, Levi?" She asked, reaching for her pocketbook and pen.

Levi looked up at her, stopping the process of changing. He was only in the school girl sweater and the lacy underwear the outfit came with as he answered. For a few moments he was quiet, until his eyes flashed in understanding. “They appeared to be decent clothing.”

Hanji scribbled the answer down.  _They appeared to be decent…that means he had an opinion about them, right? That would imply feeling?_ She shook her head and sighed.  _I’m over thinking this. And…_  Her eyes widened a bit as he undressed himself.  _I didn’t buy him and men’s underwear…shit. He’s just going to wear those lacy things? Damn it, Hanji._ When he finished he announced that he was clothed, and Hanji nodded in agreement. “Oi, you’re smaller than I thought. I should’ve gone with the small. Stand still.” She got close to him and knelt down to roll up the bottoms of his pants and the sleeves of his shirt. Everything was a little big. She put a hand over her mouth and giggled a bit, finding it cute. She went to her drawn and pulled out a plain brown belt and told him to put it down, because his pants looked a little big around the waist as well. “Ok, not sit down on the bed and do whatever you want.” She was testing him again, leaving to call Moblit. Her heart was racing as she dialed his number, afraid for what he might say. Technically, she had stolen everything she used to create Levi. Not only could she get fired, but she could get criminally charged, and they might even take him away. She tried to think of ways around it, and figured they couldn’t charge her if she paid for everything she used. She could certainly afford it. There was one thing she could avoid. But there was still the issue of getting fired and of them taking Levi away. She didn’t think she could handle that.

Her thoughts broke when Moblit answered. “Uh, hey, I’m home.” She said, watching Levi from afar. He was doing nothing, just sitting on the bed and staring at his feet, which still had the school girl socks on.

"So can we come over then?" Moblit replied, noticing something strange in Hanji’s tone. "Are you ok?"

"Yep." Hanji said cheerily. "Just fine. I’ll tell you more when you guys come. See you soon, bye!" She quickly hung up, having suddenly grown very excited. Levi had moved from his spot and was looking out the window. She approached him quietly, standing a few feet behind him. "Hello, Levi. What are you doing?"

"Observing the world beyond this window." Levi replied flatly. It sent a rush through Hanji, and she scribbled it down in her pocketbook.  _Observation is the first step to learning. It is how children learn. Is he learning…?_ She was so excited she felt like she could explode.

"What do you see?" She asked him, thrilled for his answer.

"People." He said. "There are humans and ultrihums." He turned around and looked at Hanji. "Which am I?" He asked her, and the question shocked her.

For a few moments she stood there in pure astonishment.  _He doesn’t know what he is, does that mean maybe he doesn’t feel ultrihum? Or…_  She shook her head.  _I’m overthinking things again._ "You’re an ultrihum." She replied.

For a moments she swore she saw sadness in that flash in his eyes, but she told herself it was nothing. “I am.” He said, as if confirming it. “What model am I?”

Another rush of excitement. This all appeared promising to Hanji. “You have no model name or number. You’re a product of my very own design. I created you to be different, unique, unlike other ultrihums. Do you understand?”

There was the flash of understanding in his eyes, followed by the red flash of misunderstanding, and it confused Hanji a bit. But she didn’t push it because she wasn’t sure if his programming could handle it. She heard a knock at her door, and she assumed it was Moblit and Erwin. “Levi, stay in this room.” The ultrihum computed the request and did not move as Hanji answered her door. “Hello there, you two.” She grinned.

"Hello, Hanji." Moblit replied with a slight smile.

"I hear you’ve been busy." Erwin greeted.

The woman clasped her hands together in excitement. “Indeed I have. But first you two have to promise not to tell a soul.” She decided to just spring it on them.

Erwin and Moblit exchanged glances, and Moblit looked at Hanji with a worried expression. “What did you do?”

"Just, wait right here." Hanji told them, before walking back to her room and approaching Levi, who, to her shock and excitement, was looking out the window again. "Levi, follow me." His eyes flashed as he did what he was told, his movement still slightly rigid from the repairs Hanji couldn’t get too. She felt a little bad for him. "Ok…" She grinned as she approached her friends again. "This is my secret." She stepped to the side to present Levi, who stopped when she did and stared straight ahead.

Erwin cocked his head a bit. “Is this your boyfriend, Hanji?” The woman turned bright red and then started to giggle with nervousness. Because, yes, she had indeed developed some sort of admiration for Levi. She found him so cute and exciting. “N-no.” She said, stifling her laughter. “This is…my ultrihum. I made him. His name is Levi.


	2. Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji realizes her feelings for Levi may be slightly more than intellectual--and his existence is risky at best. The true question is whether or not Levi knows any of this. After all, is a machine capable of human emotion?

It was decided then that Levi would become a well kept secret among the three friends. Hanji was glad to have someone to share her excitement with, and Erwin and Moblit were just happy to listen. She bought a new notebook and labeled it:  _Levi: A Study in Artificial Intelligence._ She wasn’t sure if she wanted to call it that, because she believed artificial would imply created. She hadn’t created intelligence for Levi. She wanted him to learn on his own. She wanted to see if it was possible.

By the end of that weekend, Levi had become the main topic of interest whenever Hanji, Moblit, and Erwin interacted. Whether it was instant messaging:

HanjiZ: GUYS GUYS GUYS  
mOBLIT: What is it Hanji?  
HanjiZ: GUYS LEVI. LEVI JUST COMMENTED ON THE WEATHER  
SmithE: What did he say?  
mOBLIT: Yeah? H  
anjiZ: HE SAID IT LOOKED DECENT OUT  
HanjiZ: DECENT GUYS

Or phone calls:

"Come on, come on…answer…" "Hanji, it’s 2:00 AM. What do you want?" "MOBLIT! Levi told me good night! I didn’t tell him to  _he just did it!_ " "That’s nice, may I go to bed now?"

Or text messages:

To: Erwin Levi picked his outfit out  
To: Erwin ALL BY HIMSELF  
To: Erwin ERWIIIIIIIN

Hanji was always eager to share every little discovery she made that weekend, and Moblit and Erwin just listened to please her. She had loosened up on her paranoia a lot because it was better to share the secret rather than keep it to herself. It proved a lot less stressful.

The weekend came and went, and all the while Hanji had scribbled down all of Levi’s “little victories” (as she called them) in her notebook. She was not only pleased with herself, but thrilled to see what was to come. He seemed to have a ton of potential, and Hanji was so happy she could burst.

But Monday came, and with it, a small ache in Hanji’s heart. Her alarm started to go off, playing some ancient song called “Disarm”. She let out a small groan as she opened her eyes, and sat up with a loud yawn. She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand before grabbing her glasses and putting them on, the world coming into focus. She turned and looked at the left corner of her room, where Levi was sitting, eyes closed (Hanji did that each night), sitting up but appearing to be sleeping. She curled her knees to her chest and smiled at him. He looked so human just sitting there, and Hanji felt a blush creeping into her cheeks. “No.” She told herself, shaking her head. “What am I thinking such things for? He’s not even human, he’s just a walking, talking…computer.” She pulled off her covers and crawled out of bed, standing up with a stretch. She let out a slight gasp at the large pop in her back, then giggled. “I’m turning into an old woman.” She mused, before kneeling in front of Levi. “Time to wake up…” She hummed, removing his charging cable and stepping back. Ultrihums automatically turned on when their cables were disconnected. His eyes opened and flashed before he looked up at Hanji. “Good morning, Levi.” She smiled.

"Good morning, Hanji." The ultrihum replied flatly with his same, cold stare. But it made Hanji’s heart flutter. She took another step back as he stood himself up and faced her, awaiting a command or request. But Hanji gave him none. Instead, she decided to just try and have a conversation with him. She’d woken herself up early for this because she did have work later. It was seven now. She had to leave by nine. She had a solid two hours alone with Levi.

Smiling warmly, she said, “How are you this morning, Levi?”

His eyes flashed and he paused before answering. “I am fully charged.”

Hanji couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, yes you are. Anything else?”

His eyes flashed again and he looked down at himself. “I am clothed.”

Hanji giggled again. “But how are you feeling?”

There was the red flash of an error, and Hanji was a little disheartened. However, her heart raced when Levi actually answered her question. “I am feeling-” He stopped and his eyes flashed red again.

Immediately, Hanji ran to her nightstand and quickly scrawled the observation down in her notebook.  _He said he was feeling…did I hear that right?_ She looked back up at Levi, who was staring blankly ahead at the wall. She debated whether or not to ask again, and decided against it. The two red flashes worried her some. Setting her notebook and pen down, she looked back at Levi, deciding to try something else. “Levi, sit down right here, and the bed.” She patted the spot, and the ultrihum complied, sitting down stiffly. Hanji got on her knees on the floor before him and held up his hand, pushing her fingers between his cold, slender ones until their palms were touching. Then she waited, watching his eyes.

His eyes did nothing for almost a minute, and then they flashed and he pulled his hand away, resting it in his lap. He didn’t say a word. Hanji slowly lowered her hand and watched him for a few more seconds before turning back to her notebook and writing things down. She stopped mid sentence, though, when Levi suddenly stood up and walked out of the room. Her eyes widened in shock, and she bookmarked her page quickly before following him. She held her pen in one hand and notebook in the other, watching him with a burning curiosity.

Levi did not even acknowledge Hanji. He reached in her breadbasket, pulled out two pieces, and carefully stuck them in the toaster before turning to device on. There was a slight spark upon contact, as ultrachrome was highly conductible, and Hanji flinched slightly. But Levi seemed to learn, and took a step back from the device. Hanji almost screamed, and quickly wrote it down. They both stood in silence until the toast popped out, and when it did, Hanji observed Levi take out a plastic knife from her drawer and carefully pull the two pieces out. “Why did you use the knife, Levi?” She asked, grabbing the attention of her ultrihum.

After a pause, his eyes flashed. “The toasting device let out a spark upon contact. I was successful in my attempt to avoid contact.” Hanji almost fainted. If that wasn’t learning, she didn’t know what was. She quickly wrote it down and clapped her hands together, about to say something when Levi handed her the pieces of plain toast on a paper plate. “You have yet to feed yourself.”

Her eyes met his, and grew a little wide. She felt the scarlet rise up in her cheeks as she took the plate from him, her heart skipping a beat when their fingers touched. “Th-thank you, Levi.” She said, absolutely in awe.

"You’re welcome, Hanji." Levi replied, part of his programming being proper manners. Hanji watched him as she lifted the toast to her lips, wondering what was going on behind those gray eyes of his. She was astonished that he had made her breakfast, and had a million theories.  _Does he know that humans are to feed themselves? Or did he perhaps observe me making myself breakfast?_ Her heart was beating a million miles a minute, and she could feel a tingling feeling in her chest. She started to scold herself mentally.  _No Hanji, no. He’s not even human. You shouldn’t feel that way._

"Is it cooked to your liking?" He asked, observing her eating.

Hanji’s heart skipped a beat again.  _Why is he doing this to me? Fuck he’s cute…even if he’s still in women’s underwear._ Hanji hadn’t bothered to go out and but anything else for him yet, and he was now in a grey button up and nothing else. Hanji had explained pajamas to him when Erwin jokingly asked if Levi had any that first night.  _Focus, Hanji. Answer him._ "Yes, Levi, very much to my liking. Why did you make me toast?"

Levi was actually quick to answer, and it surprised Hanji. “You consume toast every morning. I wanted to make it for you.”

"You  _wanted_ to!?” Hanji cried, almost spitting out the food in her mouth. She quickly set the toast aside and wrote it down.

Upon being asked that question, Levi’s eyes flashed red in a misunderstanding. That made more sense to Hanji. How could he want something? Only humans wanted things, right? She decided not to press the matter, because she really didn’t want to ruin what she just observed. She picked up her toast and blushed again when she looked at Levi in his lacy underwear. “Levi, go put on clothes.” She said, and he left her to do so. When she was alone, she let out a huge sigh and was grinning like an idiot. All of this promised so much. It all pointed to her theory being correct, that if a personality wasn’t given, it was developed. And to her, that was human. She had a theory that Levi could become more  _human._  She knew it was a long shot, but it seemed slightly more likely now, and she could scream she was so happy. She almost went and called Moblit or Erwin, but stopped herself, realizing she might be annoying them. She finished her toast and threw away her plate, returning to her room and turning on her laptop. While she waited for it, she watched Levi and turned beet red.

He had put on the school girl outfit again. “Levi…” She began, looking him over. He looked back at her, his cold stare awaiting her orders.  _He looks so fucking cute…what if I just say nothing?_ She giggled to herself.  _What am I doing? Still…he did pick that all on his own. And who am I to tell him he can’t wear that? Gender shouldn’t matter anyways._ Hanji was trying to justify her reasoning. There were much deeper reasons, though, for why she was perfectly ok with this. She could no longer deny how attractive she found Levi, and she had always found crossdressing rather…attractive. She turned around and looked back at her laptop, her face crimson. “Nevermind, Levi. You may finish getting dressed.” She moved to her bed and watched her laptop screen, peeking up every once in awhile. She watched him pull up the knee high socks and strap his Mary Janes. He then sat down at the edge of the bed and stared ahead out the window. Hanji noticed he looked out the window a lot, and she wondered why. She considered asking him, but decided against it. She was upset with herself for thinking the way she was about him.

Looking down, she saw her laptop was waiting, and she messaged Erwin and Moblit the morning’s events, heart heart aflutter as she remembered each thing. She spied on Levi from behind her screen, biting her lip. He was just sitting there, staring out the window, but every moment gave Hanji a rush, something she hadn’t felt since she was young. “Oh god…” She muttered to herself, hiding her face. “I think I’m…”  _Falling for him, Hanji what the fuck? That’s weird…he’s not human._ But she couldn’t stop her feelings. No matter how much she wanted to deny it she knew that she felt something. Looking back down at her screen, she saw no replies, so she set the device aside and crawled up behind Levi. “Why are you looking outside?” She asked him. She was curious and excited for his answer.

He turned his head in her direction and his eyes flashed, normal at first, and then red. But he answered. “There are people out there.”

Hanji nodded. “Yes, there are people out there. Do you like to look at the people?” She wasn’t sure if he would understand or not, but she asked anyways, already exhilarated by his previous answer.

His eyes instantly flashed red, but again he answered. “I do.”

Hanji almost fainted. He  _liked_ something. She was shaking as she crawled back to her laptop and furiously typed her most recent observation into the message bar, the text full of typos in her thrill. She could barely keep her writing legible as she scribbled it down in her notebook.  _He expressed a fondness of something, a direct expression of fondness,_ she wrote. She then wrote: _Human Emotion_ and circled it before closing her notebook and setting it down. She crawled back to Levi and this time sat beside him, deciding to try something again. She looked at him, her heart racing and her cheeks scarlet. She gently took his hand, grabbing his attention, and pressed their palms together again as she watched those gray eyes of his. There was nothing in them, no regular flash, no red flash. Just…blank. For almost five minutes they were like that, quietly staring at one another. Finally, Levi’s eyes flashed red, and Hanji pulled her hand away as his dropped down beside him. He turned his gaze back to the window, and she watched with curiosity. She felt electrified by the contact, to the point where she couldn’t stop smiling. Five long minutes. Something had to have happened behind those eyes. What, exactly, Hanji was determined to find out. _  
_

The rest of the morning proved uneventful as Levi didn’t move from his spot unless told to do so, and Hanji wondered if she should shut him down while she was away at work. She decided against it and instructed him to not leave her room until she returned in nine hours, at six. “Goodbye, Levi.” She said a little sadly as she grabbed her work bag.

"Goodbye, Hanji." He said in his same old flat tone. With a sigh, she left, making sure to lock her door.

Upon arriving at the ultrihum factory, Hanji saw that the entire first and second floors were closed off. Hanji grew a little panicked and found an intern, a young blonde she was familiar with named Armin Arlert, and asked him what had happened. “Well,” He began, rubbing the back of his neck. “They did a recording of supplies this morning and it appears that a pair of grey eyes, black polyester fiber, and a roll of latex were missing. Those pieces are apparently used for the Page models, which we haven’t been assigned to make in two months.”

"So they believe there was a death?" Hanji asked, acting innocent.

Armin nodded. “And that someone here created their own ultrihum without paying for it. I don’t quite see why it’s such a big deal. And I think they’re hiding something…because I don’t see why they’d make such a big deal if it was just  _that_.”

Hanji nodded with agreement, and tried to get back to her lab. But everyone was locked out of their labs. Hanji’s heart was racing, but she managed to keep a calm composure. It faltered a little when she saw the police had arrived to investigate. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal, until she was asked in for questioning. With a relaxed demeanor, she followed the officer to her boss’s office, where the questioning was being held.

"Hello, you are a Miss Hanji Zoe, correct?" The woman nodded, keeping as calm as she could. "Ok. My name is Kenny, and I’m here to inform you that your suspected of theft."

Hanji felt a lump in her throat, but remained perfectly calm. “I am?” She asked, raising a brow.

"Yes, in fact we’re certain it was you." He turned on the computer monitor on the desk and tilted the screen so Hanji could see. Security footage. Her heart sank. "Mind explaining what’s going on here?"

"I was building an ultrihum." She replied matter-of-factly.

"Miss Zoe, you realize this isn’t about the missing parts, right? Parts go missing all the time, and I’m sure you can easily compensate." His eyes narrowed as he continued. "From what I see in this footage, you weren’t building a Page model, or a Barbarella like you were assigned, or anything close to either." He zoomed in. "Looks like you were making your own little toy. Can you deny this?" Hanji had to shake her head. "Now I’m a nice guy, Hanji. This right here is not only theft, but it’s a copyright problem. You do not own any rights of the ultrihum product, and by doing this, they could not only take your little toy away, but you could spend up to ten years in federal prison. Do you understand?" The woman nodded. "But I’m a nice guy, Hanji. And judging by the effort you put it into your toy, you wouldn’t want him to be taken away, correct? So how about a deal?"

At this point, Hanji was a little pale. “Are you planning to blackmail me?”

Kenny laughed. “You’re a smart woman. That’s exactly what I’m doing. How about you pay what you owe your company, clean out your desk, and I’ll take care of the rest.”

"And?" Hanji questioned. There had to be more to the deal.

"Leave me your number, Hanji, and we’ll discuss later." Nile grinned. A bit reluctantly, Hanji pulled a blank sheet out of her pocket book.  _Hanji, what are you doing? You’re really gonna just give in to a corrupt cop? But…if I don’t, they’ll take away Levi…and we were making such good progress. What to do…_ Hesitantly, she wrote down her number. With a wry smirk, Kenny took it and placed it in his shirt pocket. “Thank you for cooperation, Miss Zoe. We’ll talk again, and the company agreed to drop the charges if you pay up.”

"Yeah, yeah…" Hanji growled, pulling her electronic check pen. It was a device that was wirelessly connected to a bank account, and any scrap of paper could be turned into a check with its use. "How much do I owe?" She muttered. When Kenny told her she carefully turned a post it note into a check and handed it over, a pissed look on her face. She didn’t like to lose, and she figured she was going to find some way to get Kenny back. But for now, she was giving in, because she didn’t want to lose Levi.

The rest of her day proved miserable. She lost her job, as she figured, and she got stuck in the rain because the streetway was down. She waited an hour before things were up and running again, and in the streetway car, she watched as a boy no older than seventeen take the loose change from her jacket pocket. He thought he was being sly, but Hanji caught him. At that point, though, she didn’t care, and just let him have it, figuring he probably needed it more than her.

She arrived home sopping wet and pissed off. She felt like a loser for letting that cop play her like that. But she didn’t know what other choice she had. Unlocking her door, she threw her things on the floor inside and locked the door behind herself before dragging herself to her room. There, she found Levi, who hadn’t moved all day like she told him. She gave him a soft smile. “Hello, Levi.” Seeing him made her feel a bit better.

He turned his head her direction and replied, “Hello, Hanji.” His eyes flashed in observation. “You are wet.”

Hanji let out a slight chuckle and nodded. “Yes, I’m wet.” She grinned. Seeing his face, her problems seemed a lot less worse than they actually were. “It’s raining outside. Can you see the rain?”

His eyes flashed, and he looked back out the window. “It has been raining since approximately 9:45 this morning.” He turned back to her. “You informed me you would return at six from work. It is only twelve.”

Hanji let out a sigh and nodded. “It  _is_ only twelve, so it would seem…” She hummed to herself. “I’m home early because I no longer have a job.” _  
_

Levi’s eyes flashed, and he blankly said, “You were fired.”

Hanji laughed softly. “Yes, yes I was. Unfortunately.”

"Why?" That question caught Hanji off guard. Levi was a machine. Why should he care? How  _could_ he care?

She hesitated before answering. “Because…because I wasn’t very good at what I was doing.” She lied. That seemed to satisfy the ultrihum male, and he turned his gaze back to the window. Hanji watched him, her heart aching, and turned around and started digging through her dresser for dry clothes. She pulled out her pajamas and changed right in front of Levi before taking a seat beside him. “Levi?”

He turned his head to her, awaiting her command.

Hanji couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “Will you hug me?”

Levi didn’t react for a moment, and then his eyes flashed and he wrapped his arms around Hanji. “Does this satisfy your request?”

Hanji smiled slightly and her cheeks darkened. It more than satisfied.  _Screw it…I love him._ "Yes, Levi. Very good."

With that said Levi pulled away and looked back out the window.

Hanji lay back in her bed, letting out a deep sigh and closing her eyes. “Levi, lay down next to me.” The ultrihum did as he was told. Hanji couldn’t believe what she was doing, but she had stopped caring. She was sad, and seeking comfort. She scooted closer to him and rest her head on Levi’s shoulder, looking down at his hand. “Let’s try this again…” She intertwined her fingers with his and watched for his reaction. To her shock, he did react this time. Her eyes grew wide and her cheeks darkened dramatically, a small smile crossing her face.

He squeezed her hand. He had actually tightened his grip upon feeling her hand in his. It sent a rush through her, leaving a slight tingling feeling in her lower regions. She wanted to reach for her notebook and write this all down, but she didn’t want to spoil the moment, either. So she just waited, letting her emotions flood her. She closed her eyes and a big grin was plastered in her face. Levi, on the other hand, stared up at the ceiling blankly for quite some time, his hand still wrapped around hers. While her eyes were shut, he turned his head and started to stare at Hanji. She opened her eyes and her heart stopped when she realized what Levi was doing. She stared back at him for a few moments before speaking softly. “What are you looking at, Levi?”

His eyes flashed and he looked away. “You.” He replied factually. It was the truth after all.

"Why?" Hanji asked. But Levi’s eyes just flashed red. Hanji found his mannerisms so strange. One minute he was acting so human, the next there was the red flash of misunderstanding. She couldn’t gauge what was happening with him. It started out as an experiment, but now it had become something more. She was developing an infatuation. She didn’t want to deny it anymore. She’d already lost her job. "Levi?" Hanji scooted closer. "I’m sad."

"How may I assist you?" Hanji smiled at his response. She knew it was probably just in his programming, but it came across as so sweet.

"You don’t have to do anything." She mused. "You can just stay here." She let go of his hand and stood up. "I’ll be right back, Levi." She needed to call Moblit and cry.

A week passed, and Hanji got back to her old self. She forgot about her job, started looking for a new one, and continued to be fascinated by Levi. Two weeks past, and she found a new job as genetic engineer for a pharmaceutical company. It all seemed promising. Three weeks passed and Hanji officially declared herself in love with her ultrihum, and she refused to think anything otherwise. Erwin and Moblit found this a bit strange at first, but they weren’t going to judge Hanji.

Three weeks and five days after Hanji last her job, she received a dreaded phone call. She was asleep, Levi charging beside her in bed. Her cellphone went off at around three in the morning, waking her up from a deep sleep. She reached lazily for her phone, answering with a sleepy hello.

"Miss Zoe? I’ve been trying so hard to get a hold of you." Hanji instantly turned pale. She recognized that corrupt cop. "Do you think you could meet me?"

She carefully groped around the dark for her glasses and slipped them on upon finding them. “It’s 2:57 AM, are you serious?”

"I would be careful if I were you." Kanny corrected her. "You’re the one who owes me, remember? Concerning to secret behind your little…toy? And where is he? Is he in your room, Hanji? Is he running right now?"

The woman let out a low growl. “What the hell do you want?”

"I need you to do me a favor. See, if I get involved, I might get caught, and well, I wouldn’t want that. But I’m willing to risk you. You  _owe_ me, after all. Get dressed, Hanji.” She heard a voice in the background, and her eyes narrowed in disgust. “Shut up, brat! Sorry about that. Can you meet me at the corner of Stohess and Capital street? You can even take your little toy with you-he might prove some help. If you don’t arrive within the hour, I’ll be forced to assume you’re not coming and will have to spill our little secret.”

Hanji grumbled to herself, turning on her lamp. “I’m on my way.” She mumbled, hanging up her phone and cradling her head in her hands. She didn’t know what to do, and started to tear up a bit. She let out a deep sigh and got to her feet, changing her pants and putting on her jacket before looking down at Levi. This was all for him, wasn’t it? She was beginning to question her sanity as she pulled his charging cable from his neck. He wasn’t fully charged, but she didn’t want to go alone. To the rest of the world, he could pass as a human male-good to have around for a woman on these streets. There were dangerous people out at night. “We’re leaving, Levi.” Hanji informed the ultrihum when he opened his eyes. “Follow me.” She handed him a jacket to wear and pants to put on before the two headed out into the streets.

Within fifteen minutes, Hanji found the corner of Stohess and Capital, with Levi following her like a lost puppy. She waited impatiently until she found him. Kenny was in the shadows. “Hello, Hanji.” His grin was sinister and gross. It sent shivers through Hanji. Kenny focused his attention on Levi. “Who’s this?”

"My ultrihum…" She scowled. "What the hell do you want me to do? Let’s get this over with." Levi and Hanji followed Kenny into an alleyway. Hanji’s heart was racing, and she wanted so badly for the comfort of Levi. But she knew that if she just got this "favor" over with, she’d be done with Kenny and she and Levi would be safe.

She suddenly stopped when she heard a whimpering sound, and her heart sank when she saw Kenny yank a child to his feet. He looked to only be about eight or nine, and the tears were pouring from his big green eyes. His red cardigan was torn up, and he was covered in cuts and bruises and was tied up. He didn’t look afraid, though. He looked homicidal more than anything. Still, Hanji’s heart ached for the boy, and her eyes narrowed in disgust as her eyes met Kenny’s.

"What the fuck is this?" She scoffed, feeling ready to murder Kenny right there. A little sadly, she looked back at Levi, then down at the kid. What did he want her to do?  _If he wants me to hurt this kid he’s got another thing coming…I’m sorry Levi, but I will give you up if it means saving this child._

"It’s ransom, Hanji." Kenny laughed. "I have everything set up, I just need you to make a phonecall. You see, I can’t make the phone call. If my voice is recognized, this whole thing will go to shit. But I doubt will reco-"

" !?" Hanji cried, looking down at the boy. "This is ‘s son!?" She knew she recognized him somewhere. Grisha Jaeger was a big name in the company she worked for. Every once in awhile he’d come in, and take his son with him.

Kenny frowned. “You know ? Well this complicates things. Voice recognition will surely pick up your voice. Not that I care, but I’m sure you won’t comply now.” He pulled out a gun. “I didn’t want things to get messy.”

Hanji’s eyes met the green eyes of the boy and she suddenly shouted, “Wait! He doesn’t need to see this! Wait-we’ll use Levi! They can’t trace his voice-he’s not human!”

That became the plan. Hanji sat cradling the boy as she watched Kenny hold a gun to Levi’s head while he spoke to . As usual, Levi was curt and straightforward, asking for the $250,000 ransom to ensure the safe return of the sun. It all sickened Hanji to the core, and she had tears in her eyes. She kept telling the boy it would be ok, but she seemed more worried than he was. When Levi finished the phone call, he was allowed to return to Hanji. In silence, they waited for Grisha to arrive with the money. Hanji noticed something strange in Levi. His eyes were dully flashing, as if he were processing something. Hanji couldn’t imagine what, and she was far to stressed to try. In her arms, the boy was growing more and more furious. Hanji could sense it. “It’ll be ok, soon, boy. Just relax.” Frighteningly, though, it seemed he had a plan, and was just waiting for something.

Kenny, quite proud of himself, was standing a bit away, at the mouth of the alley way. He was taking a drag on a cigarette when he was suddenly attacked. The boy had ripped himself away from Hanji’s arms, armed only with a metal pipe he found earlier. He had been hiding it, and waiting. Hanji watched as he ran at full speed towards Kenny and hit the back of his knees with all his strength. Of course the man fell, and Hanji leapt up and attempted to help, but froze in shock at what she saw. This child, no more than nine, was beating his kidnapper down, mercilessly, relentlessly. Levi too watched, with his same cold expression. The entire time, he processed what he saw. “Alex, Eric…” Names started coming to Hanji. “Eren-Eren!” Hanji cried, snapping to her senses, and pulling the child off.

"No!" He yelped. "He’s not finished yet!"

"Eren, you can’t do this!" Hanji had a trouble keeping hold of the struggling child. "Wanting revenge is one thing, but killing a man?" She looked down at Kenny’s body. No, he wasn’t dead yet. But there was so much blood, all over Eren as well. A part of Hanji was thrilled by the sight. She hated this corrupt cop with all her being. Being dead would solve all her problems. She shook her head. She couldn’t kill a man.

Then, something happened that shocked her and Eren. They watched Levi kneel before Kenny’s body, roll him onto his back, take his gun, and shoot him four precise times in the chest. He then dropped the weapon right on the body, now dead. What astonished Hanji the most was that his eyes were red that entire time, until it was over. Of course this was against his programming-but what was he doing. He turned to Hanji with his same neutral expression. “The boy is safe.”

Breathing heavily, Hanji nodded, finally letting Eren go. “Levi, why did you do that?”

His eyes flashed red and he didn’t say a word. Gripping his shoulders, Hanji asked again. And again, his eyes flashed red. Sighing, she gave up on it, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and resting her head on top of his. She was so shaken and just wanted comfort. She realized though that there was someone probably in much more need of comfort, and she knelt down before Eren and placed a hand on his cheek. “Are you Ok?” She asked. He nodded. “Are you sure?”

"I wanna go home." He said in a voice that broke Hanji’s heart. It was like that pent up animosity left him, and he was now an afraid child. She held him in her arms until his father arrived ten minutes later.

Hanji explained the situation gravely, lying about a few things, to Grisha as she handed his boy over. Looking down at Kenny’s body, then at the blood on Eren, he asked, “Eren, did you do this?”

The boy turned very pale, and was about to speak when Levi stepped in. He was covered in blood as well. “I did.” He said, to the shock of Eren and Hanji. “The child is safe.”

A little hesitantly, Grisha nodded. “Right…” He told Eren to wait in the car as he turned to Hanji. “Have we met…?” Hanji explained who she was and he nodded. “I see. Can we…keep this between us? I think if we neglect to bring it up that would be best for Eren.”

Swallowing hard, Hanji nodded. She was actually feeling somewhat relieved. Kenny was a problem, eliminated. Murder by no means was how she would’ve eliminated the problem, but what happened, happened. She and Grisha exchanged a few more words when the two left them, and Hanji and Levi were alone. For a long time, Hanji watched Levi, confused and shocked by his actions. “Levi…?” She captured his attention. “Why did you…” She stopped herself, shaking her head. She pulled off her glasses and wiped off a few tears of stress before pushing them back on her face and letting out a loud sigh.  _It’s all so strange, his behavior. But it’s…promising. Could this really mean…?_ She stopped thinking about it. She just wanted to sleep. “We’re going home, Levi.” At that, she started to walk, Levi following her for a short time before he started to teeter. He hadn’t been fully charged, and his battery was dying. “No…” Hanji whimpered, not wanting to be alone. “Come on, Levi, a bit longer…” But he couldn’t. His movement became slower and slower until it ceased altogether, and Hanji had to carry him back.

In the morning, it was all like a bad dream. Hanji woke up late, deciding to call in sick for work, and debated whether or not to call Erwin and Moblit. But she decided against it. She just wanted to forget it, and return to her cheery self. She flicked on the telescreen, watching it while she waited for Levi to finish charging, and what she saw shocked her. Kenny’s body was discovered by police, but there was no evidence against anyone because it had rained, and Levi and Kenny were the only ones who handled the gun. Levi, not being human, left no finger prints. Something in her felt a rush of relief when the reporter said the case had gone cold. Looking at the time, she unplugged Levi and watched him turn on. Now there was the problem with him.

He had killed a man. He had made his own judgement and killed a man. It was all so strange to Hanji. It was too…human. And a part of it frightened her. But when she watched him pull on that school girl sweater and a pair of jeans, she asked herself how he could be something to fear. He seemed so innocent. But it still lingered in the back of her mind. If he  _was_ capable of judgement, and he had chosen to  _kill_ a man, what else was he capable. What was his view on right or wrong?

And then it hit Hanji. She had been trying to teach him many things, but never  _morality._ How would she teach that to a machine? She watched him wearily as he stared out the window. “Levi.” She said, and he turned his head to her. “Do you recall the events of last night?”

His eyes flashed red. “What events?”

Hanji nodded. She closed her eyes, thinking back to everything that had happened. She recalled that red flash of misunderstanding the entire time he was killing Kenny. She wondered if he was malfunctioning. That scared her. What if it got worse? What if he hurt her? Or was it all his morality? After all, did he know right from wrong like most? It all hurt her head, and she had to stop thinking about it. Looking at him, his cold expression, his small stature, she just wanted to hug him and pretend like nothing had happened, that  _her_ Levi was fine.

So she did. She walked up from behind and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close.

And to her shock and joy, He turned around and hugged her back. “What am  _I_?” He asked her, and for a moment her heart skipped a beat.

"You…you’re…" Her voice trailed off. She wasn’t even sure how to answer that now. He didn’t seem human, but he didn’t seem machine, either. "You’re…Levi."

"I am Levi." He said, looking up at her. "Hanji, I believe I am in need of repairs."

"Why?" She asked, tilting her head.

His eyes flashed red. “I am not performing as an ultrihum should.”

This was a shock to Hanji. “So…you understand you are different?” The ultrihum nodded. “Levi, you are not in need of repairs. This is the way I built you.”

"Why did you build me this way?"

"Because…because…because I wanted you to be different."

"Why?"

"Because…" She sighed, deciding what the hell? She might as well explain what she was feeling whether he understood it or not. "Because all the other ultrihums are the same, none of them are special. They’re all programmed to act an exact way and I was tired of making things like that. So I made you, as…as a challenge. As a way of saying that these ultrihums have all this potential that we take away for the sake of having a fancy sex toy."

Levi said nothing, but his eyes did turn red again. For a few minutes he was silent, and Hanji had given up on thinking he might be understanding what she was saying. And then he spoke. “Hanji, it against all ultrihum programming.” He began, and she wondered what he saying that for. “But I love you.”

* * *


	3. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seem to finally be working out--but of course things are never as they seem. Hanji tries her best to hide it but even as they start to grow apart Levi knows better. He knows her too well. Things are not fine.

Hanji was rendered absolutely speechless. “You  _love_ me? Do you know what that word means, Levi?”

"Love: an intense feeling of deep affection." Levi gave her the dictionary definition of course. It was in his programming. But everything after that wasn’t. "I believe I am feeling, even though it is against my design, unless it is in fact what you intended. I do not know all that I feel, but I know being around you makes me feel strange, what I imagine a human would feel like."

Hanji felt ready to cry. She didn’t know what to feel. This was against anything ultrihum, anything not human. Yet here he was-saying he felt human. She didn’t know what to say. She had so many questions, but she pushed them from her mind and smiled, her eyes softening. “Ok, Levi. I believe you.”

He watched her for a few moments, expressionless, then asked a strange question. “Do you love me?”

Hanji wasn’t sure how to answer at first. There was her answer, a right answer, and an answer that would be dubbed wrong. but hadn’t she already accepted it. “Yes Levi, I do. Always have.” She pulled him into a hug and he hugged her back. She rest her chin atop his head-still questioning why she had made him so short-and hummed softly. Levi could hear her heartbeat, and he focused on it, finding something…comforting about it-knowing he shouldn’t feel comfort. But he did. He pulled away and put a hand over her heart.

"I want one of these." He said, feeling her heartbeat under the sensors on his fingertips.

Hanji, knowing what he was referring to, pushed his hair from his face and replied, “You have one, Levi. That’s what makes you different.”

Their relationship grew more intimate from there-though it still had its limits. Levi wasn’t human, after all. Despite the fact that he said he was feeling, and Hanji believed it, he could never be truly human, so their relationship of course had its limitations and downfalls. But Hanji didn’t care, n her mind, love was love, no matter who it was,and she didn’t care that it might’ve been perceived as “perverted” or “wrong” if anyone found out.

And soon, many people would question their relationship as Hanji Zoe made a name for herself.

It all started one night in front of the telescreen. Hanji was falling asleep while watching, Eren in her lap. She had been babysitting. Levi was playing twenty questions with the child.

"Does it walk?" Levi asked blankly.

Eren giggled. “No.”

"It doesn’t swim, fly, or walk. What does it do?" The ultrihum asked.

"Only yes or no questions, Levi!" Eren corrected, feeling clever.

Levi went silent a moment. “I do not see how youth find this game to be entertaining, and you never explained the rules to me.”

Eren was about to explain when Hanji suddenly woke up. “Hey, kid, what time is your dad supposed to grab you?”

Levi was the first to answer. “Dr. Jaeger informed you that you were to care for the child until his return in two days. That was this morning at approximately 2:57 PM.”

Hanji muttered something and yawned, forgetting about all of that. “Well…kid needs to go to bed then-eh?” Something on the telescreen caught her attention, and she told Eren to keep silent so she could hear it. She couldn’t believe her ears. The company she used to work for was going under, the sales of ultrihums not enough to keep it going. A huge smile crossed her face. “That’ll show them…” She grinned.

"Is this not the company that terminated your employment?" Levi asked her, trying his best to understand.

"It is. Ha, this is too funny! This is hilarious!" She cackled with delight, and Eren looked to Levi for explanation, but he could give none.

"I do not see the humor." Levi commented. Eren nodded in agreement, quickly adding, "Why are you laughing?"

Hanji chuckled a bit more before answering-though it was not the answer they were looking for. “Oh…Oh! I have a brilliant idea!” She got to her feet, and Eren had to quickly escape from her lap. “I’ll buy it!”

Levi was confused. “You’re buying another ultrihum?” Was that pain in his voice? Hanji told herself it couldn’t be.

"No, Levi, no." She assured him with a smile. "I want to buy the entire factory! I wanna but the company out."

Levi’s eyes flashed in understanding before he said, “Do you have sufficient funding?”

"Sure…" She thought a moment. "Sure I do…we might have to scrape by for a bit, but I’ll manage."

"You have that much money, Miss Hanji?" Eren asked her, his eyes wide with fascination.

She laughed softly and tossled his hair. “Come on, kid, your dad has more money than I do.” Her eyes wandered up to her ultrihum. “Levi, will you put Eren to bed? I’ve got to call Erwin…” She wondered if he might help her out.

As she did that, the ultrihum took the child by the hand and led him to Hanji’s room, where he would be sleeping. “Do you have sufficient sleeping clothing?” Levi asked him.

"Why do you talk so weird? I got pajamas, yeah." Eren said, putting his backpack on the bed and pulling them out.

Levi was silent a few moments, trying to comprehend Eren’s question. His eyes then flashed and he answered. “It’s in my programming.” He explained. “I do not speak like a human, do I?” Eren had quickly figured out that Levi wasn’t human, and the boy agreed to keep it a secret since he took the blame for what happened to that corrupt cop. They’d grown close since then.

"A really smart human, maybe." Eren replied, pulling his shirt over his head. "Where’s the bathroom? I gotta brush my teeth."

Levi showed him, sitting down on the toilet seat as Eren continued to talk to him, asking him why he wasn’t like the other ultrihums he’d seen. Eren was only familiar with the female types. “Hanji built me herself. She said she wished for me to be different.” Eren nodded in understanding, unable to speak with the toothbrush in his mouth. “Do you like me?” Eren paused for a moment, feeling like that was a strange thing to ask.

Spitting in the sink, he turned to Levi with a crooked smile. “I like you enough even though you’re kinda weird. But I guess that’s what I like.” He washed his toothbrush out and rinsed his mouth before yawning. “Goodnight, Levi.” He said, turning off the bathroom light. Levi followed him back to Hanji’s room and closed the door behind himself when he left.

Levi noticed Hanji was still on the phone with Erwin, and he hung his head a bit as he went back into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t place what he was feeling-or if he was feeling. He stared at his reflection blankly. He figured he looked human enough, and Hanji always told him he seemed human, but if Eren knew better…He then scolded himself. “I don’t need to be a human.” He said to himself. But in recent days, he’d been really longing to be one. He didn’t want to have to pretend anymore. These were all thoughts he’d been having recently, but he’d kept them to himself because he knew he shouldn’t even been having thoughts. He felt like he might be broken and he didn’t want Hanji to worry.

Levi’s eyes glanced up when he heard his name called. He appeared before Hanji, who was standing before the television. She had a warm smile painted on her face. “Erwin has agreed to help me…” She said softly. “He’s a good friend. And I see a good future for us.”

Levi was silent as he listened.

Hanji drew closer to him, wrapping her arms around his cold neck and laying her cheek against his forehead. Closing her eyes, she smiled as she listened to the quiet hum of his circuits. “It’s a reason to celebrate…” She spoke softly. “Don’t you agree?”

"It is a laudable situation, yes…" Levi agreed in a flat tone.

"So come celebrate with me…" A smirk crossed her face as she pressed her lips against his icy ones, feeling the slight static charge of his artificial breath. Levi didn’t know how to react, and his eyes flashed red for a few moments. Memories of things he’d witnessed in the movies Hanji watched. Romantic movies, with the leading male and lady embraced in a passionate kiss.

Levi tried to imitate what he’d remembered. His closed his eyes just like they did in the movies, and tilted his head as he leaned into the kiss, wrapping his slender arms around her waist.

Instantly Hanji turned bright red,her knees went weak, her mind unbelieving of what was happening. Was this true affection? He did say he loved her, didn’t he. Her mind going blank, her eyes fell closed as she drank him in, enjoying every minute of this heartfelt kiss-even though it was an artificial heart.

Finally Levi pulled away, a small red light lingering in his eyes. Those grey eyes met Hanji’s chestnut ones, and for minutes they were both silent as they stared. Hanji was the first to look away, and when she did, she softly spoke, “Levi…do you know what you’re doing?”

Still the red lingered. “I said I loved you…” He replied with his same blank expression. The red didn’t fade.

Hanji was silent a few moments before smiling. “Right, I forgot that. I guess it just feels weird.”

"Weird?" Levi retorted immediately. "Is my behavior unusual?"

With a soft chuckle, the woman replied, “Well, yeah it is.”

Levi didn’t say anything right away. Looking away, his voice was low as he spoke. “Am I broken? Are you going to replace me?”

A slightly pained expression fell over Hanji’s features, and she pulled her ultrihum close and held him by the chin. “You’re not broken, just different. And that’s perfect. I could never replace you. The only thing that’s broken about you is that hip of yours, but that’s my own damn fault and it’s just part of your charm.”

"I have charm?" Levi asked dully.

Hanji stroked her cheek with his thumb. “Tons of charm, a whole lot. You may walk around with that same flat expression and speak in that same dull voice, but I don’t find you flat or dull. I think everything about you is charming-especially when you wear that silly school girl uniform.”

"So I am not in need of replacement?"

Hanji laughed as she shook her head. “Not at all. I could never, ever replace you. You’re  _my_ Levi-and I couldn’t replace you if I tried.” With that said, she led him to the couch, a lust starting to overcome her. She sat down with him in her lap, and held him close. “Don’t say such things anymore, ok?”

It was an order to Levi, so naturally he complied.

"Good…" She hummed, stroking her fingers through the strands of his polyester hair. "Ultrachrome, latex, and steel…" She murmured to herself. "Yet you seem so human…"

Levi said nothing in reply. He felt content there in her lap, and felt like he didn’t have to say a word. All these worries he’d been having, and wondering if he should had…and she made them go away just like that. The two sat there like that for a couple of hours. It was silent and peaceful. Eren was asleep, the television was off, and the two taboo lovers were in a content place. All seemed perfect.

Hanji was dozing off right there with Levi on her lap when Levi noticed something strange about her. “Hanji…” He spoke in a lower tone, before taking her by the shoulder. “Hanji.” He said louder, and with a slight gasp the woman’s eyes flickered open. “There is blood coming from your nose.” Levi informed her.

With a slow hand Hanji reached up to her face and ran finger to her nose. Sure enough, Levi was right. “Peculiar…” She said, thinking nothing of it.

In the passing two months a great deal happened in the lives of Hanji and Levi. Hanji got the ultrihum company and changed every policy there. Under her command, cookie cutter models existed no more. Her company was the first ultrihum company to create custom models. This turned her into a public image, and with her, Levi. Their relationship was dubbed as strictly professional, with Levi being more of a personal assistant than anything else. But they knew better. Four weeks after she bought the company she’d made enough of a profit to not only pay back Erwin, but to purchase a house that she and Levi shared, where Levi spent many of his days alone. With a business to run, and an image to keep up, Hanji was gone much more than she used to be. It actually began to depress the ultrihum a bit, though he was incapable of expressing such a feeling. It seemed Hanji was busy all the time, sometimes even too busy for him. He once went two days without charging because she kept forgetting to plug him in.

During his time alone, Levi began to grow very cultured. Hanji supplied him with many books which he read furiously, as well as heaps of movies to watch and music to listen to. When she’d come home she’d often be exhausted, and she would have him read to her. That was how they spent their time anymore. Levi wasn’t bitter about it, though, because he was starting to notice some changes in Hanji. She seemed tired all the time, even on her days off. He’d also noticed she was bruising easily, but she seemed too busy to care. In the end, she’d just tell him he was fretting over her, and would kiss his forehead and tell him she was fine.

That belief was short lived. It was the three month anniversary since the grand reopening of the ultrihum factory under Hanji’s command. The company had just reached a milestone, 50,000 units sold, and Hanji felt there was reason to celebrate. There was a grand party and lots of public attention, But Hanji ignored it because she was finally spending time with her Levi.

"A suit looks good on you." She said softly, sitting on her bed as she watched him dress.

Levi wasn’t sure what to say concerning the compliment. He was feeling strange around her, almost like he missed her, even though she was right there. “What will you be wearing?”

Hanji didn’t expect the question, and got to her feet. “I think…something similar. We can match, Levi.” She smiled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind and resting her chin atop his head. “Want help with your tie?”

"I can manage." Levi replied coldly. "I would suggest you get your affairs in order. We’re leaving at five."

Pulling away, Hanji nodded. “Levi…” She started, then shook her head.

Hearing his name, the ultrihum turned around and looked at her. “Hanji?”

"Oh…Ah…Levi…I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much. I’m sorry…" She was about to say something else when a long breath escaped her lips and her eyes flickered shut as she fell to the floor.

"Hanji?" Levi called, very confused as to what just happened. He knelt down and held her up, pushing her hair from her face. "Hanji…" But she didn’t reply. Levi wasn’t sure what to do, and sat down with her head in his lap. He looked down and noticed bruising on her arms, and that she seemed…paler than normal. He tried to think of anything he’d seen or read that would explain this, but when nothing came to mind, he called the only person he thought could help: Erwin.

"Hey, Hanji, ready for the party?" Erwin greeted on the other line.

"It’s Levi." Levi replied flatly.

"Oh…Levi." Erwin sounded confused. "Hey there. Where’s Hanji?"

"Come over now. Please. Hanji is unconscious on the floor, I believe." Levi explained, glancing at her.

There was a short pause on the other end. “I’m on my way.” Erwin said before hanging up.

Levi was now sitting on the bed and staring out the window, watching the occasional car roll past with little interest. He could only think of Hanji. What was wrong with her? Could he fix her? He sat the waiting period in absolute silence, believing every little noise to be Erwin’s arrival. He was desperate, but, moreover, he was scared as he looked down at the unconscious body upon the floor.

Finally, Erwin did show up, and Levi promptly led him in and showed him Hanji. He looked up at the taller man and attempted to read his features. He was having slight difficulty until Erwin said, “She should see a doctor.”

Hanji awoke in a hospital room, IVs in her arm and a slightly fuzzy feeling in her head. Her vision was blurred, and she quickly realized it was because she didn’t have her glasses on. She was all alone save Levi. Upon seeing her awake, the ultrihum pulled her glasses from his pocket and slid them onto her face. Seeing his face come into focus, Hanji smiled up at Levi. “Hey. What am I doing here?”

"Erwin has reason to believe you’re ill." Levi replied quietly.

"Ill?" Hanji echoed with a small chuckle. "Why would he believe I’m sick?"

"Because you are." Levi told her coldly. "So please stop with your denial. You have a fever. You have bruising on your arms. You’re pale." The ultrihum explained, sounding more like a concerned parent than an artificial human.

Hanji’s smile faded as she listened to him speak. She’d had a feeling for awhile that she was falling ill, but she didn’t tell a soul because she didn’t want anyone worrying about her. She also had her suspicions of what she had, and had been looking for the symptoms ever since that night with the nose bleed. “I know…” She replied a little sadly. “I’ve been sick for awhile Levi…I just didn’t tell you.”

"Why?" He demanded.

She let out a sigh, her eyes downcast in shame. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

Levi said nothing, and his eyes flashed red for a few moments. But Hanji ignored it, because it felt like it meant nothing anymore.

"I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…" She said softly. "I’ve just been so busy and I hate leaving you alone all the time so I didn’t want to give you something to worry about. But it’s too late to stop pretending now. I know exactly what’s wrong with me, Levi. Tell me…are you aware what leukemia is?"

Levi knew what it was. “You’ve been ignoring leukemia?”

"You have a good heart, you know that?" Hanji said with a sleepy smile. That really confused Levi.

"I don’t have a heart." He reminded her matter-of-factly.

"Sure you do…" She sighed, speaking before he could argue. "I’m not one hundred percent that I have leukemia, but I’m pretty sure." That was a lie. She’d had blood tests weeks ago that she conveniently failed to mention came back positive.

"Pretty sure?"

"Yes, Levi, pretty sure." The woman laughed slightly. "I told you you fret over me. You like to fret over me, don’t you?"

"I’m incapable of liking anything."

"Oh, Levi…" She shook her head. "Why are you suddenly behaving this way. You told me you loved me…why do you care about your programming? Remember, you  _kissed_ me.”

Levi grew quiet as his grey eyes looked the other way, a red light lingering in them. “I am just afraid.” He admitted.

With a sad smile, a lone tear fell from Hanji’s eye as her composure started to crack. “Me too, Levi. Me too. Come here.” She patted a spot on her bed, and Levi got to his knees and rest his arms on the spot, resting his head on them as Hanji stroked his hair. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Modern medicine is magic, ya know? No need for you to worry at all.” She could tell he was starting to die, his charge fading. She could see it in that light behind his grey eyes. She was quite relieved for this, because she didn’t want to explain anymore. It was getting hard to keep that smile. “Hey, Levi, do you remember any of those books you read?”

Levi held his head up. “All of them.” Memorizing things wasn’t hard for him to do.

"Tell me one of them. I want to hear a story." Hanji behested. "Anyone you want…"

Levi went silent for almost a minute as he tried to retrieve something. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit…” He began, remembering it was one of her favorites. “Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry…bare…sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.” Hanji couldn’t help but smile. So he remembered she liked this one. “It had a perfectly round door like a porthole…painted green…with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact mid-” His eyes flashed blank for moment, and then slipped closed as his rest down in his arms. His battery had finally died, and Hanji let out a sigh of relief.

She sat for minutes alone with Levi, letting her composure go as she petted his head. Tears dropped from the corner of her eyes, the bitter tears of regret. She’d ignored this for far too long, and now she feared it was too late to do anything. She’d been so good at keeping it together this long, but now she finally let herself go now as she was alone. “I’m sorry, Levi. I’m sorry…” Her crying immediately ceased when she heard a knock at her door. Wiping her tears away, she let out a choked “Come in!” and wore a warm smile she saw Erwin and Moblit walk in. “Hey guys. What’s up?” She asked nonchalantly.

Moblit was the first to reply, and wore a grave expression. “How long have you known?”

Hanji feigned ignorance. “Known what?”

"You know…" Moblit replied, trying to keep a calm demeanor.

The woman knew she couldn’t get anything past them, and her smile faded as her expression turned very out of character. She looked defeated. “Awhile…”

"And you didn’t say anything?" Erwin chimed in.

"I didn’t want you to worry. You guys worry enough as it is." Hanji argued.

"Hanji, this really isn’t something one keeps a secret." Erwin shook his head.

Moblit nodded in reply. “There’s nothing wrong with worrying. We just want to help.”

Hanji went silent as she looked away, and the two men saw that there was an unlikely chance they’d get any more out of her. Erwin knelt down and picked up Levi, the small ultrihum surprisingly heavy, but not unwieldy for Erwin.

"Thanks…he needs to charge." Hanji replied. "I’m stuck here for the night, so…can you do it? His charger’s at my place, by my bed. It’s easy to spot."

Erwin nodded, and was about to leave when Hanji said something else.

"Erwin?" He turned and looked back at her. "Take care of him, when I’m…you know. I won’t sugarcoat it…I’ve screwed myself. I don’t see me…you know. So just do me a favor and take good care of him. You know he’s functioning when you see that light behind his eyes. Please…don’t let that light go out." Nodding gravely, Erwin said he’d do his best and he left Hanji. Moblit lingered a few moments before following his friend out.

When Levi was turned back on he didn’t recognize his surroundings. He looked up at the one responsible for his awakening; it was Erwin. “Where am I?” Levi asked him coldly.

"My place." Erwin replied. "Hanji asked me to take care of you while she’s getting treated." He informed the small ultrihum. Looking into Levi’s storm-colored eyes and found that light Hanji was talking about. "So hey, do you need food or anything?" Erwin was a bit clueless when it came to ultrihums because he never had any desire to own one. But now it seemed he was stuck with Levi.

"I don’t require anything." Levi said coldly, getting to his feet. He looked down at himself. "Have you any clothing for me to wear?" Hanji would never let him wear the same outfit for more than a day straight.

"Oh…" Erwin was a little surprised he cared. "Um…Mike’s stuff might fit you. "He’s my roommate. He’ll be back later, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you wearing some of his clothes." Erwin was realizing just how small Levi was. "It will probably be a little big."

Their interaction was rather awkward at first. Erwin had no clue how act towards Levi, and Levi seemed more preoccupied in keeping his oversized pants rolled up to keep from tripping rather than making friends. The two sat on opposite sides of Erwin’s couch, and the man finally decided to try and start a conversation. “So what do you and Hanji do all day?”

"I’m alone most days." Levi replied, his eyes meeting Erwin’s.

"Oh…so what do you do all day then, Levi?"

"I read. I watch movies. I clean."

Erwin had to chuckle at that. “Yeah, Hanji makes quite a mess. It’s good to have someone clean up after her.”

Levi wasn’t sure why he was laughing, or what was even humorous, so he simply replied, “Yes, it is.”

"She talks about you all the time." Erwin noted. "She cares about you a lot. Maybe we’ll visit her later."

"I would like that." Levi responded.

Erwin was quiet for a few moments as he nodded, not sure what to do now. “Have you ever played cards?”

Later in the day, Erwin took Levi to visit Hanji. “Hey guys,” Hanji greeted, before laughing. “Erwin, is Levi wearing your clothes?”

"They belong to Mike." Erwin informed her. "I didn’t have anything else, and I didn’t expect them to be so big. He’s awful small."

Hanji nodded with a smile, before turning to her ultrihum. “Did you have a nice day at Erwin’s?”

"He taught me how to play poker." Levi replied.

"He’s good, too." Erwin added, before pulling the pack of cards from his pocket. "Mike owes him thirty bucks now."

"I didn’t want it." Levi replied.

"Yeah, well, you’ll find some use for it, Levi. Now I was thinking, if you’re up to it, Hanji, that we three could play."

Hanji smiled as she sat up in her bed. “I think I’m good for a few games. I’ll see just how good my Rivi is.” A nickname she used when toying with him. It always got him so confused because he couldn’t quite grasp the concept of pet names.

"Who’s Rivi?" He asked her, his eyes flashing red.

"You are." She replied with a grin.

"I’m Levi."

"I know, I know." She laughed, before looking to Erwin. "He doesn’t get it. He’s so cute."

Erwin just nodded, pulling up two chairs for he and Levi as they used Hanji’s bed for a card table. They managed to get four games in before Hanji grew too tired to continue. Levi won all four games.

That became the nightly routine. Moblit soon joined, and even with him playing Levi had quite the win streak going. They didn’t know how, but it made Hanji laugh madly. That’s what pushed Levi to try harder to win. At first it was effortless, but seeing her laugh like that made him want to really try. He noted that she was progressively looking more and more tired, paler, overall just weaker. But he pretended not to notice, and just nodded and agreed when she said she’d be “out of here in no time”. He’d heard the conversations between Erwin, Moblit, and Mike. He had a grim but vague idea of what was coming. But he continued to remain seemingly innocent about the whole ordeal.

The fateful night came. For two weeks prior Levi was denied approval to see her, not by Erwin, but by the hospital. That was when Erwin decided it was time to clue Levi in, but when he started to explain he was rather surprised by the ultrihum’s reply.

"I know."

Erwin blinked a few times and paused. “You know?”

"I know." Levi replied. "I know how this ends."

Erwin knew Levi was incapable of expression any emotion, but he swore he saw pain in Levi’s face. Putting an arm around his shoulder, he said, “I’m sorry.”

Levi wasn’t sure how to answer that. “May we see her?”

"We’ll try."

They again were denied entrance, but after some arguing on Moblit’s part and a furtive whisper from who was assumed to be Hanji’s doctor, they were granted a visit.

Hanji looked to be in a very grim state of affairs. She had a breathing mask on, and was hooked up to all sorts of monitors. She was pale and looked exhausted, yet through all of this, she was smiling for them. “Hey guys…” She said in a quiet voice. “It was so nice hearing nurse Petra tell me I had visitors. I missed you guys.”

No one said anything.

"Come on, guys…" She tried to put life behind her voice. But it sounded very forced. "You act like it’s a funeral or something."

"Sorry…" Erwin replied, forcing a smile. "How ya feeling?"

Hanji sighed, and her expression turned a little grim. “I can’t bullshit you guys.”

"Yeah…" Moblit said quietly. Neither of the two men were sure what to say, and Levi, standing in the middle, was struggling to decide what do, when Hanji suddenly called him over.

He got on his knees by her bedside, and held up his hand as she pushed her fingers between his. Saying nothing, he stared at her eyes as she stared back into his.

"Remember this?" She said softly.

For a moment his eyes glanced up at the heart monitor, then back to her eyes as his flashed in understanding. “I do.” He replied, closing his hand around hers.

She hummed in content and smiled. “Good.”

She said nothing after that, and Levi looked back at the heart monitor for a few moments. The beeps that signaled each beat were growing further and further apart. He knew what was coming, and he didn’t know what to do, until a memory came to him. “What’s my name?”

"Levi…" She responded, a little confused.

"What’s your name?"

She paused a moment before her eyes lit up slightly as she remembered. “Hanji.”

"What’s my name?"

"Levi."

"What’s your name?"

"Hanji."

This went on for a little bit, and it left Erwin and Moblit rather confused. But they could see on Hanji’s face that whatever this ritual was, it really meant something to her, so neither dared to interrupt. They stayed silent as they watched on, listening to the heart monitor continue to beep on, each beep getting more distant.

"What’s my name?"

"Levi."

"What’s your name?"

"Levi…" Her eyes started to slip closed. A long, drawn out breath left her being and Levi was about to say something when he heard it. The long, endless beep that signaled the grave truth.

"No…" Levi replied quietly. "Your name is Hanji. You’re Hanji."

No reply came.

"Hanji?"

Silence.

Levi understood now, and slipped his hand out of hers as he slowly got to his feet. He turned around and faced Erwin and Moblit, who both had tears in their eyes. Nobody said a thing. It was just known. Hanji was gone.

* * *

**Afterword** :

It was bright day. The kind usually celebrated with picnics or trips to the park. But a funeral allowed no such joy. A large group had formed around a hole in the ground, and there wasn’t a dry eye as they watched the casket get lowered into the earth. The only one who wasn’t crying was Levi, but that was only because he was incapable. His face was solemn and stoic as always, but behind that light in his eyes, he was sure he was broken. In his hand was Eren’s, who was clinging to him in sadness.

The service didn’t last long, and within the hour most had left. Erwin informed Levi and Eren (who’s father was unfortunately away again) that it was time to leave, but the boy and the ultrihum insisted on staying a bit longer, so Erwin allowed it as he waited in his car.

"Do you miss her, Levi?" Eren asked, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve.

"Yes."

"Me too…" The boy sighed. "I always liked staying with you guys. Erwin’s ok, but you guys were a lot more fun."

Levi said nothing.

"Are you not ready to go home yet?" Eren asked, looking up at that stoic gaze.

"I don’t have a home."

"What about Erwin?"

"It’s not the same."

"Yeah…" Eren’s eyes dropped to the floor. "I agree."

The two exchanged no further words but just remained silent as they stared at Hanji’s grave. Eren was just doing his best not to cry anymore, but Levi was doing nothing. He’d gone completely blank, until Eren started to tug at his sleeve. Looking down, Levi asked him what he wanted.

"Erwin said we have to go." Eren replied.

Levi turned around and saw the man standing a few feet behind them. “I’m staying.” He informed him. “Take the boy.”

"You’re both coming."

"I don’t want to." Levi stated.

"You have to, your battery is almost dead." Erwin argued.

"Let it die." The ultrihum refused to move away from his spot. He didn’t want to leave Hanji.

Erwin let out a sigh, and grabbed Levi’s hand, Eren’s hand in his other. “Not an option. I’m keeping a promise.”

Levi’s eyes met Erwin’s and flashed red in a misunderstanding. “Promise?”

"Yeah." Erwin replied flatly. "A promise. I promised I’d take care of you."

"Promised who?"

"Her." Erwin said, pulling Levi along, forcing him to walk. "I promised her your light wouldn’t go out. You don’t want to go against that promise, do you?"

Levi was quiet at first as his eyes wandered down. “No. I would not.”

"Good. Because you don’t have to suffer alone." Erwin replied, pulling him along. Eren was trailing close behind, listening to them both.

"I’m suffering?" Levi asked, but before Erwin could answer, his eyes flashed in understanding. "I am."

Erwin nodded. “We all are. She meant a lot to all of us. It’s alright to feel sad.”

"I’m not capable."

"Yes, you are." Levi looked up at him as he said that. "And it’s ok. Obviously you are capable. You were capable of loving her, right?" Levi didn’t respond. "Right?"

He finally replied. “Yes.”

At first, the concept of life and death was a bit difficult for Levi to grasp, but it was not blatantly clear. Humans died. It was just nature. Sitting in the back of his car, Levi looked at Erwin in the mirror before looking down at Eren, who was falling asleep in his lap. Humans died, and he knew one day he’d watch them both die. It would be a long time, but he knew it was coming. And there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t die. That was the part that hurt. He would watch Erwin die, Moblit die, and one day Eren would die too, but Levi would always remain. He’d watch each of their lights go out while his never would.


End file.
